Happy New Year

So, its New Years Eve here in the land of excitement. The kids are at a friends house and I am sitting here in my John Deere pajamas while Chris is on the couch, eating lasagna, shirtless, holding the remote in one hand and his fork in the other.

Everybody say PPAARRRTTTYYYY.

Procrastination

Tomorrow is December 16th. So far I have bought a total of THREE presents. Three. 3. ThReE. I think it might be about time I got out of park and into overdrive. I just don't feel the urgency to get it done. I'll bet I feel it on Christmas morning if my kiddos don't have anything wrapped under the tree(s)!

OR....I could just go into a complete state of denial and watch old 90210 reruns, because you know, that's working out so well.

How do guys feel about gift cards or cash????

Okie Dokie

My SISTER says I need to BLOG.

LOL, I guess she got tired of looking for her passport and decided to read my posts! ha ha ha ha

What? You TOLD Me To.

The other night in bed:

CF: You know, if feel the urge to roll over and snuggle with me, just give in.
ME: (grunt)
CF: OR, if you feel the urge to...
ME: (GRUNT LOUDER)
CF: Just GIVE IN. GIVE IN TO THE URGE.

A few minutes later....

CF: HEY, (roll, flop, growl) why did you put the pillow over my head?
ME: I had an urge.

How Many States Are There??

While at Thanksgiving, my middle sister said something along the lines of..."next year we should all spend the holidays together in Hawaii" to which my oldest sister responded...."YEA! I already have my passport!"

This is the same sister that watered the plastic plant for a year.

Dear Bean:

NO COMMENT! But I am laughing.

Conqueror

Last weekend Dillon rode his first "bull". OK, he bucked off a 500 lb steer, but the point is he was scared to death, faced that fear, and took the ride of his 9 yr. old life! I don't know if he'll do it again, it's his choice. If he does want to...I'll be right there watching, praying, and cheering louder than anyone!

I know the first photo isn't the greatest, but cut me some slack...THAT'S MY BABY!

Posting For A Friend and A Good Cause

Hey, will you blog this for me please! :) Hey everyone, I know most everyone is aware that the town of McAlester, OK laid to rest an American Hero this past week, Sgt Jason McCluskey, and the events that took place in the town and how WBC showed up to protest the funeral. This has weighed on my heart more than I ever would have imagined. I feel that this will continue until I do something positive and what I want to do I need everyone's help. My cousin Brenda and I have ...decided we are going to put together a scrapbook to give to the family but we would like hand written letters from everyone expressing thanks, memories or whatever you would like to write. You don't have to be from McAlester, this young man died for all of us. If you would like to help out you can send your letters to: Crystal Barlow 2216 Sycamore Road McAlester, OK 74501 Or Brenda Barlow Robertson 28 West Ottawa McAlester, OK 74501 We need the letters by December 10th if at all possible.

Hometown Pride

Today our small community came together to support the family of a fallen soldier. I will be posting a few photos I took as a part of the crowd, but first I have a few things to say. I have lived here since I was born in 1970 (minus the "college years") and I can say I have never seen anything like what I witnessed today. One newspaper reported around 1,000 people, most with American flags, lined the streets surrounding the building where the funeral service was held. I saw people I knew, and people I've never seen. I walked with my daughter who was holding our flag. I stood with family members who were holding a flag which draped the casket of our great uncle from years ago. After leaving the crowds, we drove toward our even smaller community where the burial was to be held, in the same tiny country cemetary where my beautiful grandmother was lain. The streets of our town were lined from the church building to the cemetary, over 8 miles, with people holding signs and flags. If you drove by and flashed your flag...honking, waving, yelling, cheering erupted. People I have never met smiled and waved for the simple reason of coming together for one purpose. (Wow, there is a heck of a "stand together" post in that comment, but I'll spare you for now)

At one point, I climbed to the top of a nearby building and just took it all in. As I stood there, tears stung my eyes. They were not because I knew Sgt. McCluskey, we'd never met, but instead I was thinking about his Mom, his loved ones, those who were hurting because of his loss. Can you imagine that pain?? I can't. I don't want to. But for them to emerge from that church building and see those 1,000 people, those hundreds of flags, hear the bells and prayers and cheers from the crowd, see the roads lined for miles, and read the THANK YOU signs, well, I cried. THIS, this support, this love, this unity...this was the finest example of goodness of heart. This is how all of our soldiers should be honored. This made me proud to be a part of this small town in southeast Oklahoma. God Bless You.

Now, I am going to write a few bland sentences about another reason our community came together, but not at length because it doesn't deserve the space. The WBC. The "church" in Kansas who protests soldiers funerals because they think God kills soldiers because He hates America because the USA has homosexuals. They were here. They never made it close enough to the family to even be a factor. They had trouble leaving town. They had trouble being served in restaurants. They were effectively "shut out" and "shut down". That is all. No more space is to be given to their disrespect.

So...I hope you enjoy the photos! I enjoyed being able to take them.

Happy Halloween

The Mouse Did What???

Dillon was having trouble deciding which hat to wear on Hat Day at school so I suggested Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Instead of hearing the usual chant I hear:

"Mickey Mouse peed on a house, what color was it? BLUE. B L U E."

Mickey Mouse did what? What happened to "My Mama told me to pick the very best one...and you are not it?" I suppose its not worse than "If you're sliding into first and feeling something burst..."

(hee hee..sorry had to giggle)

Really. Honestly. Truly.

NEVER ask....What Next?

Violent Sport

Mom broke her ankle. Bowling. Yes, bowling.

Say, huh?

Masen and her friends doing math homework:

E: Hey, what's the answer to #12?
MK: I don't know I'm on 13.
Masen: Huh?

She's Amazing

How To Annoy Me

1. Smack. Smack your food, your gum, your toenails, or anything else you might have in your mouth. It makes me want to harm you.

2. Leave the kitchen cabinet doors half open/closed. Because really, I know that the extreme heaviness of those doors is a major drain on your energy reserves. Take one finger and tap the door. It just might surprise you!

3. Read over my shoulder. I am tempted to poke your eyes out.

4. Stop in the middle of the road (or Wal Mart aisle) to have a conversation. Really? MOVE!

5. Invade my "space". See this immediate area around me? MINE. You are not welcome in it. Try to touch my face, I am going to try and break yours.

And...with that HAVE A GREAT AND JOYOUSLY HAPPY DAY!!!

Uh Oh

Yesterday a boy in her class kicked Masen in the rear end. In response, she two handed shoved him into a set of bleachers. While he was down, she informed him:

Do NOT mess with me.

I asked her if she wanted me to do anything about it (talk to a teacher)she responded with "Nope, I took care of it."

Okie Dokie.

The Boys of Fall

Sooo much better than watching the NFL!

Letter To My Wildflower

I'm a wildflower growing in the sunshine
Soaking up the way of life I was raised in
Running barefoot
Blooming in a summer shower
Ponytail dancin'
I can't help it -
I'm a wildflower - The Jane Dear Girls

To my daughter:

My beautiful girl, I wish so much that you could see yourself through my eyes, that you could see you the way I do. I look at you and I see the most amazing creature. Your soul is beautiful and kind. You have an inner light that shines so brightly that your eyes sparkle with it. Your smile, your sense of humor are all an extension of that light. You know who you are.

The song above could have been written about you. I have a picture of you on your horse, bareback and bare-footed. You are free and strong. You are natural. You are amazing.

I pray as you grow up that you can separate the weeds of this world. The ones who tell you that you have to look a certain way, act a certain way, exceed at certain activities in order to BE SOMEONE. I hope you can look at the "roses" standing so pretty and perfectly in their vases and realize that they have been pruned and groomed and tinted and manufactured so much that their natural light and beauty has been diminished. You don't have to fit into any worldly box to be someone. I hope you don't take to heart those that tell you a wildflower isn't good enough for the florists window. The truth is that a wildflower has to be so much stronger, so much more resilient in order to survive, and the beauty of that flower standing in the sunshine, in the middle of a field of weeds, is breathtaking. It's you.

And always, always remember these two things: 1. Always place your faith in God. He will never leave you and He understands; and 2. If God lined up all the 12 yr. old girls on earth and looked at me and said, "OK, you can take your pick", I'd choose YOU. YOU are my gift from Him.

Love, Mom

With Special Thanks to Brad Paisley

Driving down the road with the radio on. Nothing special happening. Then Dillon says:

D: Mom, what does that mean?
Me: What does what mean, son?
D: On that song....copped a feel...what does that mean?
Me: uhhhhhh

Oh NO!

Last night:
Me: (looking at a Rods catalog): Oh I want that pillow!
CF: Why, what's on it?
Me: Boots.
CF: WHAT??!!
Me: booTs you perv.
Dillon: I thought you said something else too!

OH NO! He's a BOY.

How To Torture Your Daughter

NETI POT

This Kid Talks Too Much

Masen went home with a friend (K) recently and I got this text from her Mom:

Conversation they had on the way to town.

K: Wow Mom, you got to town in like 10 minutes!!
K'S Mom: Driving like Mickie, huh?
Masen: Nope, you can't see the little signs beside the road when Mom drives.

Geez kid, you don't have to tell EVERYTHING!!!

Juuuuuussst a Bit Outside...

"K" (one of Masen's friends): "Hey, I know who sings this song."
Me: OK, who?
K: Joan Jett and the Blackheads.

LOL. You are close K, but juuussst a bit off.

Another Dillon-ism

Dillon to his sister after she had bitten his head off:

"Weeellll, aren't you just a ball of sunshine!"

Oops.

Working cattle with her Dad. She's one tough cookie.

Well, OK Then

Dillon - after being warned for shoving a kids head/helmet into the ground after a play was over -

"He pissed me off."

Read his mind!!!

I am pretty sure whatever he is thinking....I can't post here!

Really? REALLY????

Because I Said So!!

Me - arguing with a 9 pound mutt:

Don't look at me that way. Get over here. I am not going to stand by this cage all night. I don't care if you go in, I'll just let the coyotes eat you. Don't wag your tail at me, get in this cage. This is not a game. Listen mutt, if I catch you I am going to beat you myself. DON'T YOU RUNFROMMETHISISNOTFUNNYYOU'DBETTERBEGLADMYKIDSLOVEYOUI'LLTAKEYOUTOTHESHELTER....

Twenty minutes later she prances right on in and looks at me like "neener neener neener".

Darn dog.

Ohhhhhh

On the drive to San Antonio:

Dillon: Dad, why would anyone name a town Wac(k)o?

CF: Son that's wAco.

Better Off Not Knowing

A few nights ago the four of us were sitting around talking when Dillon comes out with "Hey sister, remember that time you pushed that kid down the slide at McDonalds?" Sister immediately replies "DILLON SHHHHHH." I glance at Chris and he gives me the I don't know, do you know eyebrow raise. So, Sis came clean. In a nutshell, when they were probably 6 years and 3 years (?) they were on the playset at McDonalds when a bigger boy blocked the slide and was refusing to let kids through. So, Masen, being Masen, tells him to get out of her way and he agrees, but tells her that Dillon is too little and HE can't slide. That is when my beautiful, dainty, ballet loving girl took a lesson from the Ron White school of debate and instead of discussing the situation, shoved the kid down the slide. Now, when she is telling me this, I picture the kid sitting down with his feet in the slide and mouthing over his shoulder. Not the case. Apparently he was STANDING with his back to the slide, arms and legs spread across the opening. Little Miss Sunshine took her right foot and kicked him in the stomach, folding him in half like a washcloth and sent him down the slide backward and butt first.

What did she have to say for herself?

Shoulder shrug, "He left us alone".

Mission accomplished.

My Kids Have A New Obsession

Dear Aunt Bean

I am going to place that cowbell in a place where only the airport screeners will find.

Lots of love,

Me.

Replay

Somewhere on this blog I have a post about trying to refill my Rx at the Choctaw clinic last year. So I really shouldn't have been surprised when the time came to refill again and the process went less than smoothly. It went something like this:

Phone call to clinic: My prescription has expired and I need to get it cleared.
Clerk: OK, the next appointment is Sept. 13th.
Me: Well, I know I should have called sooner, but I am needing it cleared before then. (I withdraw badly on this med.)
Clerk: Sorry.
Me: Is there not something that can be done?
Clerk: (sigh) I'll leave a note for Dr. X's nurse.
Me: Thank you.

NEXT DAY

Phone call to clinic: I left a message for Dr. X's nurse yesterday about my Rx.
Clerk: Ok I'll transfer you.
(transfer...ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring...you see where this is going)

NEXT DAY

Phone call to clinic: I need to talk to Dr. X's nurse, please.
Different Clerk: I'm sorry he is on vacation until the first of August.
Me: SERIOUSLY???

I go through the entire explanation again. She transfers me to the Adult Care desk.

Me: (Explanation AGAIN)
Clerk: Well, the only thing you can do since you will have to see a different doctor is come in tomorrow at 8:00 am and try to get seen as a walk-in.
Me: Ok, thank you. (I was SOOO calm it was scary to even me! HA)

8:00 AM NEXT DAY

At check in desk: Go through story again.
Clerk: Ok, I will make you an appointment for 2:00 pm today.
Me: Oookkkk, can I not stay and try to see someone now?
Clerk: Sorry, they are in meetings til noon. Someone should have told you.
Me: (still SURPRISINGLY calm) Ok, thank you.

2:00 PM SAME DAY

Sitting in waiting room after checking in my phone rings. It is the clinic calling to tell me...oh wait...you are already here...I'll come out to get you. Click. Nurse appears: I am so sorry, but they scheduled you for a doctor who isn't even here today. There is nobody here that can see you today but if you come back tomorrow at 8:20 am, we will work you in.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!??!!??!!

What else was there to do? I said Thank You and came back the next morning. Refill cleared. Happy pills for everyone!!

The One Where Our Waitress Teaches My Daughter An Altered Curse Word

Yesterday I had a doctors appointment. (Getting this appointment is a post in itself, but you'd be proud of me, not one explosive temper tantrum!!) The appointment was early so afterward I promised the kiddos breakfast. After a vote we went to Dennys, where Dillon proceeded to eat enough for three adults. I am not kidding, he ate the All American Slam AND tried to kype his sister's hash browns. But the story here is our waitress, burning her finger, yelling SON OF A (pause) BISQUIT EATER. For some reason this sent Masen into hysterics. She laughed until tears came. Then she took a deep breath and laughed some more. For the rest of the day anytime you said the word "bisquit" she would dissolve into giggles. I guess I can thank the waitress when I am called to school because my daughter says...S.O.B.E.

I'll blame it on Chris.

For My Brother In Law

If this doesn't get him in trouble....I don't know what will!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAHHHHHH


aaaaahhhhhaaaaahhhhaaa

That was my tarzan yell. Want to hear it again?

50 Years

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

May 16, 2010

HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY, Baby Girl. I am pretty sure that you have no idea how FABULOUS you are. You amaze me and I am so glad you are mine. (mmmmwwwwaaaaa this is me giving you a great big smoochy kiss right on your forehead)

I love you.

To My Son

Son, yesterday you announced you are now a vegetarian, because, you know, it's just not fair to the cows. You proclaimed you can live on Ramen noodles, nachos, and squash, and I have no doubt you can.

But dear little man, I have something I must tell you. I think its important that you know....your family...grandparents, great grandparents, parents....you were born to cattle ranchers. Generations of them.

Just thought you should know...now I'll go slice some squash.

My Straight A Students

One of three 6th graders with straight A's, and the ONLY 3rd grader!!!!

She's Going to Snap

Dillon has a new "game". To amuse himself (and OK I do kind of find it funny), he has started trying to scare his sister. I don't mean just once in awhile, I mean several times a day he will hide behind a door, a cabinet, in a closet, and jump out at her. Its gotten to the point where she won't walk into a room without peeking around corners. My days now sound like this:

D: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH
M: (very shrill) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (pause) DILLON!!!!!
D: (mad giggles)
M: YOU BETTER RUN
D: Help, she's killing me......

I am not sure who is going to have the nervous breakdown first, me or her.

Like Father Like Son

Me: Dillon, you are sooo handsome. Little girls are just going to be following you everywhere.
Dillon: It ain't easy being me.

Little Brother

This is why she frequently holds him down and tortures him. She is leaning on my shoulder all sweet and loving and he is holding a V8 juice bottle above her head - right before he whacked her with it.

Oops..

Its been awhile. Not that I didn't have anything to write...I just got lazy. Dance pictures are this week. Dillon has started baseball practice. OYRA rodeos continue and Calvin playdays start the end of this month. Add in softball, opening and ending number practice, and end of school field trips, and my days are going to be full.

If you knew my family...you'd understand...

Conversation this morning with my sister:

JP: Whatcha doing?
ME: Loading the dishwasher.
JP: So, you're getting Chris drunk?

Ha ha. Isn't she funny. (say that in a flat monotone voice)

Not much really

I don't have any cute or funny stories to tell today. I wish I did, but I have the stomach flu and being creative or funny just isn't in the cards. But I do want to say this...

Last night my husband came into the living room, we could hear the kids laughing somewhere else in the house, Chris looked at me, smiled and said "I love our life".

Me too.

One year ago today....

...we were leaving Children's Hospital. Macy was soooo much better but still on blood pressure medicines and diuretics. It would take more than a month for her eyes to look normal again, and following a low sodium diet with a kid is NOT fun.

But we were home.

She got her "all clear" from the doctor last month.

Her kidneys have healed - my heart has not! I still freak every time she gets sick.

Today I will hug her and squeeze her until she pops!

Someone should warn her now...Mama's on the loose and is looking for hugs.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS WONDERFUL BOY!

He has made me laugh everyday of his life. I love his dimple, his enormous feet, his giggle, and the way he makes my heart melt.

Age: 9 yrs. old

Favorite show: Star Wars Clone Wars

Favorite toy: Anything Star Wars

Nickname: Puppy, and lots of love-names I call him which embarass the snot out of him!

I can wear his shoes!! He can drive a 3/4 ton pulling a gooseneck full of steers through a small gate and not hit a thing. He loves to aggravate his sister. He tends to get stuck in trees! He makes straight A's at school.

I love this kid!!!!!

March 13, 2010

Saturday, March 13, 2010. This is the day I turned 40 years old.

The 20 yr old inside of me is still wondering what the heck happened.

Lessons

This sums it up

This pretty much sums up this winter. This is a view from my front door. It's been cold, it's been wet, and it's been COLD!

Spring, please.

Rat Update

Haven't seen hide nor, well, hide of the little sucker. What do you think that means?

Not the spa treatment anyone wants

I hate mice. Mice are nasty, vile, gross, and fast.

We have lived in this house for almost 10 years and I can honestly say that I've seen only a couple of mice since we moved in. This is my justification for having so many cats. (They are all outside/barn cats, its not like I'm the crazy cat lady or anything) BUT a day or two ago I am lying on my bed and out of the corner of my eye I see something move. AAAAAHHHHHHH!! NOOOOOO! I guess it should be expected since this winter has been so cold. However, that rationalization did not stop me from NOT feeding my cats the next day. OBVIOUSLY they need to be doing some hunting.

The next day Chris comes home with a rat arsenal. (All mice are rats to me, even if they aren't) Sticky strips go down, poison goes out. Now you have to understand that until this rat is caught, I cannot peacefully stand close to any cabinet, open any door, or pick up any laundry that has fallen on the floor. I am obsessively sweeping and cleaning. I hate mice.

I got up on day two and checked all my sticky pads. And there, on the one behind the bathrooom door was the grey mass. Nope, not the mouse, but lots of fur. The little sucker had gotten stuck and managed to get away, leaving his rat colored evidence behind. I call Chris at work to give him an "update".

I said: "Dude, you've got a rat with a brazilian living in your closet."

(I hope ratzilla is traumatized. I know I am)

Random

Things I never thought I'd hear myself say:

WHERE did you put that booger?

Is that a Clone Trooper on the ceiling fan?

No you can't have Santa's phone number, I don't care if you "need to explain".

OH MY WORD, you haven't changed your underwear in HOW LONG????

- and my personal favorite -

Stop biting the dog!

Teaching her the classics.

Sis and I were driving to town the other day and I was listening to Bon Jovi. I had it turned up and was singing along, you know like all good Mom's who aren't AT ALL embarrassing to their pre-teens! HA! From the backseat I hear her, muttering under her breath, "well, someone is missing the '80's".

So, I turned the cd up a little louder and schooled her on the "totally awesome"-ness of Jon Bon Jovi.

Any more comments out of her and I'll buy her a pair of parachute pants and rat comb her bangs!

All the world is his stage

The shower in our master bath is pretty big. OK, it's not lavish, but I'm alright with it. There are two small "steps" or "seats", one on each end, which are perfect for propping up a leg to shave, or to just sit down on and soak. Dillon, however, found a new use for them.

A few nights ago he was in our shower and over the noise of two t.v.'s and at least one closed door, we could hear him. So, Chris gets up to go check in on him and finds my son with one leg on each step (I do not know and don't want to know how he did this), water on full blast, playing air guitar and doing a fantastic impression of Steven Tyler of Aerosmith screeching *WALK THIS WAY, TALK THIS WAAAYYY.

Chris slid the door open and my junior rock star hops down gives his dad a thumbs up and finishes washing his hair.

Man-brain.

*Oh and I want to add that he only knows the CLEAN version of this song, so don't be sending me any "bad mommy"comments.

SER-I-OUS-LY

I'm sick. For the last two nights I have been sleeping on the couch so that I can prop my head up in hopes that at least some of this "mucous" will drain away. I am congested, snot-filled, sore throated, crusty-eyed SICK.

This morning my alarm went off at 6:15 (ugh, do the kids REALLY need to EAT before school??) and I rolled off the couch and pinballed off the walls until I managed to reach my bedroom door, eyes half-closed and hacking like a 200 yr old smoker. Chris is sitting on the edge of our bed watching the news. He takes one look at me stumbling into the room and says:

WAIT!! STOP!

I froze. (I should have known better, but hey, I was not fully awake AND right now I have more snot than gray matter in my brain)

Me: What?

CF: New rule. You can no longer enter this room unless you are topless.

Me: (Unfroze I fell face forward onto my bed) You know...you are SO MUCH FUNNIER when I am not drowning in SNOT.

CF: (Grinning like he wasn't about to get smacked) Well, you know...I have a "cure" for....

That is as far as he got.

Oh don't worry...I only broke two of his fingers.

It's a miracle we make it out of the door each day...oh wait...

When Chris and I had been married about three years, he accidentally locked me out of the house. It's a long story that includes him leaving to work cattle, me wearing nothing but the tank top and shorts I'd slept in, walking to the neighbors house barefoot, and eventually breaking into my own home.

Well, yesterday he managed to accidentally lock me IN the house. We were heading out to worship, he was taking the kids to Sunday school and I was coming later to worship service. Before he left, he decided to be "sweet" and wash his nasty feeding clothes. He and the kids left and I started to get ready when I heard the washing machine BANG BANG WHUP WHUP WHUP. (The concept of balancing the clothes in the washer is lost on my loving husband) I got up and headed to the laundry room only to find that the washer had "walked" its way in front of the door blocking any entry or exit to that room. Now, my laundry room is the gateway to my garage, where my car was, with the garage door opener IN the car. The result: I had no way to get to my car or into my garage.

At least I had access to my clothes this time..

Really??

Last week I woke up with a sore throat and feeling like crap, so I decided that after I dropped the kids at school, I'd head to the walk-in clinic. I made my co-pay and headed to the kiosks to update all my info. While I was there answering questions, the clerk said she needed to see a picture ID, then went on to comment that with all the new regulations and procedures pretty soon you'd need security clearance to see a doctor. (Obviously she is not thrilled with her new S.O.P) Her next comment was something like this:

"You know, it's silly, most people don't even look like their drivers license picture, so what's the point. Except you, now you look exactly like your picture!"

She then stopped and smiled up at me. I smiled back until I realized I was standing before her sick, dark circles under my eyes, not one single drop of make-up whatsoever, and had barely finger combed my hair that morning.

Apparently I need to re-take my D.L. photo.

He has a point...

Last night:

Dillon: Hey, Dad, I've got a new cologne guaranteed to attract girls.
CF: Oh yeah, well, what does it smell like?
Dillon: Wal-Mart

I think I am in trouble with this one!

Man Brain Part II

Tonight I am in the kitchen cooking dinner when my son and my husband make their way into the dining room. Dillon climbs up and sits on the dinner table while my husband sits down in a chair and scoots up to the table. So, I ask "What are you doing??" The reply: "Cutting Dillon's toe-nails."

ON MY TABLE. CUTTING THE 8 YEAR OLDS TOE-NAILS ON THE TABLE.

And they didn't understand why I was opposed to the idea. "What? What's wrong with it? Where else should I do it?" How about ANYWHERE else??!!

Man Brain.

He's really a 100 year old man

Conversation with Dillon:

D: Mom, I think college will be the best time of my life.
Me: Why is that?
D: NO HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!
Me: Son, I hate to have to tell you this, but...
D: AW CRAP!!!!! Mom, I can't wait until I can retire.

Are you KIDDING me?

Today I found a gray hair - IN MY NOSE!