Foris Family Follies

Out Of The Dark Ages and Straight Into The Dark

2011-08-18T12:40:00.001-05:00

My parents are quite stubborn when it comes to advancing technology. They don't even like to use their answering machine. Computers? NO WAY. My sister did buy them a GPS unit but I have no idea if they have ever used it. Mom finally got a dishwasher a couple of years ago. Does she use it? Rarely. They have, however, learned to enjoy their cell phones. They have the basic version, it dials, it rings. That's all they need it to do. So a few weeks ago when Mom couldn't get it to work, she was really frustrated. She charged it and Dad looked at it, but they just couldn't get it to operate. Finally Mom gave in and went into the local store for their service.

The solution: "Ma'am, have you tried turning it on?"

Yep, I'm laughing.

Dial Nerd 1 1

2011-08-10T20:50:00.003-05:00

Today in Tulsa:
Masen: MOM, oh my gosh, does that sign say geek rescue?
Me: Mimi...its a computer repair company.
Masen: OOHHhhhhhhh. (laugh, snort, laugh)

Yep, that's my straight A student.

What? Huh?

2011-07-30T20:50:00.002-05:00

(The Choctaws have changed a policy and I now have to see a psychiatrist before I can have my Zoloft. I need to blog the whole trying to get an appointment episode, but it exhausts me!)Now on to the blogpost:

What does it mean if you go see a "shrink" and she spends the entire time telling you about her life, her divorce, her ex, her struggle as a single parent going back to school and then says its nice to meet you, I'll refill your Rx and call if you need anything????

Do I bill her by the hour?

Priorities

2011-07-30T20:48:00.002-05:00

The other day I got up and drove 70 miles one way to pick up vitamin supplements for a horse. (I take Wal-Mart generic)

Chris says I have to add that it was for Masen's horse and NOT his.

Memories

2011-07-30T20:46:00.002-05:00

My Dad turned 70 yrs old this spring. It is something that doesn't seem possible to me. In my mind, my parents are still in their 40's and I am still, well, young-ER. But the truth is, we are all moving on. So, when my husband suggested a hunting trip with Dillon and my Dad, I was excited. (OK, so part of the excitement was that it was only for the three of them! HA) I wanted Dillon to have wonderful memories of his PaPa. I wanted him to have something he could share with just the men. Turns out it was a fantastic trip. They loved every second of it. I am not sure who had the best time, all of them had stories they continue to tell anyone who will listen. They plan to do it again. (Special thanks to Texas Hunt Lodge)

Chris took this picture. It is one of my favorites. Dillon and PaPa sitting on a porch swing, in the shade, on a dock, fishing. Ideal.

Hauling Hay

2011-07-26T18:56:00.003-05:00

Hog!

2011-07-26T18:53:00.002-05:00

Chris, Dillon, and Dad went on a trip. This is what they did for fun.

Summertime

2011-07-26T18:49:00.001-05:00

Why Homeland Security Is Looking For Us

2011-07-26T18:46:00.001-05:00

While getting ready for our mini vacation in Texas:
Dillon: Mom are we going to look like terrorists again?
Me: What?
Dillon: That's what you said.
Me: Son I don't think I've ever said we look like terrorists.
Dillon: Uh huh. When we were in Florida and you had on that visor thing and that bag that hangs around your waist...
Masen: TOURISTS Dillon TOURISTS!

Where To Start...

2011-07-26T18:39:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know I am behind...my sister has let me know! So, where to start...with the depression breakdown I had in early spring? Nah. How about with the getting-an-appointment-at-the-indian-clinic saga I go through every year? Predictable. Or a list of injuries my daughter has incurred, including two trips to the E.R. in Marshall, Texas? Again, predictable! HA. How about I just sum it up and say its been business as usual.

Practicing For The Big Leagues

2011-03-28T10:41:00.002-05:00

Tipping his hat to the crowd as he is introduced.

Run That By Me One More Time

2011-03-28T10:33:00.004-05:00

Its baseball season! Dillon gets up and ready for our opening day double header and notices his belt is too large. Chris and I are in the bedroom getting shoes on and jackets (soooo cold outside) when D comes in and says:

"Hey Dad, I think you need to get your pole-huncher and fix my belt."

LOL. WHAT??!! Chris kept asking him "what" just to get him to say it again. "You know Dad, the pole-huncher."

Now, for those of you who know my husband, you can imagine the comments - such as..."I am pretty sure that pole-huncher would be more expensive than my hole punch." And - "Dang, he found where I had her hid." AND..well you can see where this is going.

Turns out the belt was adjustable so no pole-hunching was necessary.

I love that kid!

Justifiable??

2011-03-22T19:19:00.002-05:00

Is it justifiable assault and battery if I hit my husband with a large object IF, after I fixed his dinner and sat down to watch the OU women's basketball game, he comes in and changes the t.v., WITH me still sitting there, to some testosterone filled shoot someone and have a car chase show he has seen 600 times??

No reason really, just asking.

Siblings

2011-03-20T18:17:00.005-05:00

My middle sister has lost alot of weight. She worked hard and looks great. However, it seems to have sparked a little sibling rivalry in my oldest (by 18 months) sister. Ok, I am sure Mid-sis started it by challenging her at Thanksgiving to bring a scale and see who could lose more by Christmas (a challenge that never played out by the way). Mid-sis had bought a mini trampoline, SO, Older decided she needed one. Mis-sis told her - do you think you need to since you just had knee surgery and all? - HA - NOW she was definitely buying it. SOO, Older bought the mini trampoline causing Mid-sis to now tell her - well, you need someone to help you put it together. Its hard. You can't do it alone. - Anyone see where this is going? SOOO Older decided to put it together, alone.

Now, the mini trampoline comes assembled but folded in half like a clam. The idea is to push the opposite sides away from each other pulling the tension tight and popping it into place. Older decided she could do this by putting one end under her couch and crouching and placing her body on the other side. Might have worked too, had the other end not slipped out from under the couch knocking Older in the head, splitting it open requiring super glue, and knocking her loopy for a few minutes.

Score: Mid-sis - 1 Older - 0 (Ultimate winner - ME for knowing better and getting to laugh at both of them)

Who Let Them Out Alone?

2011-03-20T18:10:00.002-05:00

Today must have been "man shop alone" day in Wal Mart. I saw more than a handful of men, all alone with their shopping baskets, grocery lists, and cell phones. One was on the phone with his wife asking exactly what does the package look like; another was just parked, confused AND sideways in the narrow aisle; one was muttering to himself something to the effect of "if its not what she wants, I'll just eat it myself!"; and my personal favorite - the one who gave up - he was hijacking women as they walked by, "Hey where's the Lean Cuisine? Hey, where's the olive oil?"

Wonder if it had something to do with the full moon?

March 19, 2011

2011-03-20T18:08:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday Dillon. We spent today (the 19th) in Tulsa first at Toys R Us, then Barnes and Noble, Academy Sports, and finally Bass Pro. Talk about a "boys" day! I love you sweet man. You make me smile everyday.

The One Where He Gets His Mouth Washed Out With a Nice Smelling Masculine Body Wash

2011-01-17T20:14:00.003-06:00

Dillon commenting on the "body spray" he got for Christmas:

Hey Dad, smell my Axe.

Sunday Night

2011-01-09T20:16:00.002-06:00

Football on the t.v., snow outside, kids bathed, Dillon doing a vocal version of Back in Black, Masen reading a book, and Chris snoring on the couch.

Sounds perfect.

And What Did YOU Win

2011-01-08T20:41:00.002-06:00

I received this in the mail from Publishers Clearing House. It reads:

GUARANTEED PRIZE AWARDS

Someone with these (insert my initials) will DEFINITELY WIN

YOU could become the MF who wins a cash prize of $100.00.

(Laughing) Well, OK but if I am going to be THE MF who wins...can't it at least be more than $100.00??!!

Too Smart For Her Daddy's Own Good!

2011-01-08T20:37:00.002-06:00

So, Chris was on a roll the other night. Every time I got near him, he smacked me on the rear. I finally told him I was going to rip his eyeballs out if he didn't knock it off. Now, if you know my husband you know that he just took that as a challenge. The next time I walked by:

SMACK

About that time our 12 yr old daughter walks by into the kitchen. As she passes she tosses this over her shoulder:

"You know, Daddy, if you keep doing that I am going to grow up thinking that it's OK."

He hasn't touched me since.

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T20:17:00.002-06:00

So, its New Years Eve here in the land of excitement. The kids are at a friends house and I am sitting here in my John Deere pajamas while Chris is on the couch, eating lasagna, shirtless, holding the remote in one hand and his fork in the other.

Everybody say PPAARRRTTTYYYY.

Procrastination

2010-12-15T21:05:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is December 16th. So far I have bought a total of THREE presents. Three. 3. ThReE. I think it might be about time I got out of park and into overdrive. I just don't feel the urgency to get it done. I'll bet I feel it on Christmas morning if my kiddos don't have anything wrapped under the tree(s)!

OR....I could just go into a complete state of denial and watch old 90210 reruns, because you know, that's working out so well.

How do guys feel about gift cards or cash????

Okie Dokie

2010-12-15T21:02:00.002-06:00

My SISTER says I need to BLOG.

LOL, I guess she got tired of looking for her passport and decided to read my posts! ha ha ha ha

What? You TOLD Me To.

2010-12-02T08:28:00.002-06:00

The other night in bed:

CF: You know, if feel the urge to roll over and snuggle with me, just give in.
ME: (grunt)
CF: OR, if you feel the urge to...
ME: (GRUNT LOUDER)
CF: Just GIVE IN. GIVE IN TO THE URGE.

A few minutes later....

CF: HEY, (roll, flop, growl) why did you put the pillow over my head?
ME: I had an urge.

How Many States Are There??

2010-12-02T08:25:00.002-06:00

While at Thanksgiving, my middle sister said something along the lines of..."next year we should all spend the holidays together in Hawaii" to which my oldest sister responded...."YEA! I already have my passport!"

This is the same sister that watered the plastic plant for a year.

Dear Bean:

NO COMMENT! But I am laughing.

Conqueror

2010-11-18T15:25:00.003-06:00

Last weekend Dillon rode his first "bull". OK, he bucked off a 500 lb steer, but the point is he was scared to death, faced that fear, and took the ride of his 9 yr. old life! I don't know if he'll do it again, it's his choice. If he does want to...I'll be right there watching, praying, and cheering louder than anyone!

I know the first photo isn't the greatest, but cut me some slack...THAT'S MY BABY!

Posting For A Friend and A Good Cause

2010-11-18T11:58:00.001-06:00

Hey, will you blog this for me please! :) Hey everyone, I know most everyone is aware that the town of McAlester, OK laid to rest an American Hero this past week, Sgt Jason McCluskey, and the events that took place in the town and how WBC showed up to protest the funeral. This has weighed on my heart more than I ever would have imagined. I feel that this will continue until I do something positive and what I want to do I need everyone's help. My cousin Brenda and I have ...decided we are going to put together a scrapbook to give to the family but we would like hand written letters from everyone expressing thanks, memories or whatever you would like to write. You don't have to be from McAlester, this young man died for all of us. If you would like to help out you can send your letters to: Crystal Barlow 2216 Sycamore Road McAlester, OK 74501 Or Brenda Barlow Robertson 28 West Ottawa McAlester, OK 74501 We need the letters by December 10th if at all possible.

2010-11-13T20:06:00.003-06:00

Hometown Pride

2010-11-13T19:40:00.002-06:00

Today our small community came together to support the family of a fallen soldier. I will be posting a few photos I took as a part of the crowd, but first I have a few things to say. I have lived here since I was born in 1970 (minus the "college years") and I can say I have never seen anything like what I witnessed today. One newspaper reported around 1,000 people, most with American flags, lined the streets surrounding the building where the funeral service was held. I saw people I knew, and people I've never seen. I walked with my daughter who was holding our flag. I stood with family members who were holding a flag which draped the casket of our great uncle from years ago. After leaving the crowds, we drove toward our even smaller community where the burial was to be held, in the same tiny country cemetary where my beautiful grandmother was lain. The streets of our town were lined from the church building to the cemetary, over 8 miles, with people holding signs and flags. If you drove by and flashed your flag...honking, waving, yelling, cheering erupted. People I have never met smiled and waved for the simple reason of coming together for one purpose. (Wow, there is a heck of a "stand together" post in that comment, but I'll spare you for now)

At one point, I climbed to the top of a nearby building and just took it all in. As I stood there, tears stung my eyes. They were not because I knew Sgt. McCluskey, we'd never met, but instead I was thinking about his Mom, his loved ones, those who were hurting because of his loss. Can you imagine that pain?? I can't. I don't want to. But for them to emerge from that church building and see those 1,000 people, those hundreds of flags, hear the bells and prayers and cheers from the crowd, see the roads lined for miles, and read the THANK YOU signs, well, I cried. THIS, this support, this love, this unity...this was the finest example of goodness of heart. This is how all of our soldiers should be honored. This made me proud to be a part of this small town in southeast Oklahoma. God Bless You.

Now, I am going to write a few bland sentences about another reason our community came together, but not at length because it doesn't deserve the space. The WBC. The "church" in Kansas who protests soldiers funerals because they think God kills soldiers because He hates America because the USA has homosexuals. They were here. They never made it close enough to the family to even be a factor. They had trouble leaving town. They had trouble being served in restaurants. They were effectively "shut out" and "shut down". That is all. No more space is to be given to their disrespect.

So...I hope you enjoy the photos! I enjoyed being able to take them.

Happy Halloween

2010-11-04T11:27:00.004-05:00

The Mouse Did What???

2010-10-26T08:48:00.003-05:00

Dillon was having trouble deciding which hat to wear on Hat Day at school so I suggested Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Instead of hearing the usual chant I hear:

"Mickey Mouse peed on a house, what color was it? BLUE. B L U E."

Mickey Mouse did what? What happened to "My Mama told me to pick the very best one...and you are not it?" I suppose its not worse than "If you're sliding into first and feeling something burst..."

(hee hee..sorry had to giggle)

Really. Honestly. Truly.

2010-10-20T20:27:00.000-05:00

NEVER ask....What Next?

Violent Sport

2010-10-10T19:40:00.002-05:00

Mom broke her ankle. Bowling. Yes, bowling.

Say, huh?

2010-10-05T19:03:00.001-05:00

Masen and her friends doing math homework:

E: Hey, what's the answer to #12?
MK: I don't know I'm on 13.
Masen: Huh?

She's Amazing

2010-09-28T12:14:00.001-05:00

How To Annoy Me

2010-09-23T10:39:00.002-05:00

1. Smack. Smack your food, your gum, your toenails, or anything else you might have in your mouth. It makes me want to harm you.

2. Leave the kitchen cabinet doors half open/closed. Because really, I know that the extreme heaviness of those doors is a major drain on your energy reserves. Take one finger and tap the door. It just might surprise you!

3. Read over my shoulder. I am tempted to poke your eyes out.

4. Stop in the middle of the road (or Wal Mart aisle) to have a conversation. Really? MOVE!

5. Invade my "space". See this immediate area around me? MINE. You are not welcome in it. Try to touch my face, I am going to try and break yours.

And...with that HAVE A GREAT AND JOYOUSLY HAPPY DAY!!!

Uh Oh

2010-09-22T14:40:00.002-05:00

Yesterday a boy in her class kicked Masen in the rear end. In response, she two handed shoved him into a set of bleachers. While he was down, she informed him:

Do NOT mess with me.

I asked her if she wanted me to do anything about it (talk to a teacher)she responded with "Nope, I took care of it."

Okie Dokie.

The Boys of Fall

2010-09-22T09:20:00.002-05:00

Sooo much better than watching the NFL!

Letter To My Wildflower

2010-09-22T08:58:00.005-05:00

I'm a wildflower growing in the sunshine
Soaking up the way of life I was raised in
Running barefoot
Blooming in a summer shower
Ponytail dancin'
I can't help it -
I'm a wildflower - The Jane Dear Girls

To my daughter:

My beautiful girl, I wish so much that you could see yourself through my eyes, that you could see you the way I do. I look at you and I see the most amazing creature. Your soul is beautiful and kind. You have an inner light that shines so brightly that your eyes sparkle with it. Your smile, your sense of humor are all an extension of that light. You know who you are.

The song above could have been written about you. I have a picture of you on your horse, bareback and bare-footed. You are free and strong. You are natural. You are amazing.

I pray as you grow up that you can separate the weeds of this world. The ones who tell you that you have to look a certain way, act a certain way, exceed at certain activities in order to BE SOMEONE. I hope you can look at the "roses" standing so pretty and perfectly in their vases and realize that they have been pruned and groomed and tinted and manufactured so much that their natural light and beauty has been diminished. You don't have to fit into any worldly box to be someone. I hope you don't take to heart those that tell you a wildflower isn't good enough for the florists window. The truth is that a wildflower has to be so much stronger, so much more resilient in order to survive, and the beauty of that flower standing in the sunshine, in the middle of a field of weeds, is breathtaking. It's you.

And always, always remember these two things: 1. Always place your faith in God. He will never leave you and He understands; and 2. If God lined up all the 12 yr. old girls on earth and looked at me and said, "OK, you can take your pick", I'd choose YOU. YOU are my gift from Him.

Love, Mom

With Special Thanks to Brad Paisley

2010-09-16T11:01:00.002-05:00

Driving down the road with the radio on. Nothing special happening. Then Dillon says:

D: Mom, what does that mean?
Me: What does what mean, son?
D: On that song....copped a feel...what does that mean?
Me: uhhhhhh

Oh NO!

2010-09-16T10:58:00.002-05:00

Last night:
Me: (looking at a Rods catalog): Oh I want that pillow!
CF: Why, what's on it?
Me: Boots.
CF: WHAT??!!
Me: booTs you perv.
Dillon: I thought you said something else too!

OH NO! He's a BOY.

How To Torture Your Daughter

2010-09-07T14:22:00.000-05:00

NETI POT

This Kid Talks Too Much

2010-09-03T22:16:00.002-05:00

Masen went home with a friend (K) recently and I got this text from her Mom:

Conversation they had on the way to town.

K: Wow Mom, you got to town in like 10 minutes!!
K'S Mom: Driving like Mickie, huh?
Masen: Nope, you can't see the little signs beside the road when Mom drives.

Geez kid, you don't have to tell EVERYTHING!!!

Juuuuuussst a Bit Outside...

2010-09-03T22:11:00.003-05:00

"K" (one of Masen's friends): "Hey, I know who sings this song."
Me: OK, who?
K: Joan Jett and the Blackheads.

LOL. You are close K, but juuussst a bit off.

Another Dillon-ism

2010-08-31T10:12:00.001-05:00

Dillon to his sister after she had bitten his head off:

"Weeellll, aren't you just a ball of sunshine!"

Oops.

2010-08-31T10:10:00.001-05:00

Working cattle with her Dad. She's one tough cookie.

Well, OK Then

2010-08-27T11:27:00.002-05:00

Dillon - after being warned for shoving a kids head/helmet into the ground after a play was over -

"He pissed me off."

Read his mind!!!

2010-08-24T09:20:00.001-05:00

I am pretty sure whatever he is thinking....I can't post here!

Really? REALLY????

2010-08-24T09:17:00.002-05:00

Because I Said So!!

2010-08-13T20:31:00.002-05:00

Me - arguing with a 9 pound mutt:

Don't look at me that way. Get over here. I am not going to stand by this cage all night. I don't care if you go in, I'll just let the coyotes eat you. Don't wag your tail at me, get in this cage. This is not a game. Listen mutt, if I catch you I am going to beat you myself. DON'T YOU RUNFROMMETHISISNOTFUNNYYOU'DBETTERBEGLADMYKIDSLOVEYOUI'LLTAKEYOUTOTHESHELTER....

Twenty minutes later she prances right on in and looks at me like "neener neener neener".

Darn dog.

Ohhhhhh

2010-08-11T14:26:00.001-05:00

On the drive to San Antonio:

Dillon: Dad, why would anyone name a town Wac(k)o?

CF: Son that's wAco.

Better Off Not Knowing

2010-07-28T13:32:00.002-05:00

A few nights ago the four of us were sitting around talking when Dillon comes out with "Hey sister, remember that time you pushed that kid down the slide at McDonalds?" Sister immediately replies "DILLON SHHHHHH." I glance at Chris and he gives me the I don't know, do you know eyebrow raise. So, Sis came clean. In a nutshell, when they were probably 6 years and 3 years (?) they were on the playset at McDonalds when a bigger boy blocked the slide and was refusing to let kids through. So, Masen, being Masen, tells him to get out of her way and he agrees, but tells her that Dillon is too little and HE can't slide. That is when my beautiful, dainty, ballet loving girl took a lesson from the Ron White school of debate and instead of discussing the situation, shoved the kid down the slide. Now, when she is telling me this, I picture the kid sitting down with his feet in the slide and mouthing over his shoulder. Not the case. Apparently he was STANDING with his back to the slide, arms and legs spread across the opening. Little Miss Sunshine took her right foot and kicked him in the stomach, folding him in half like a washcloth and sent him down the slide backward and butt first.

What did she have to say for herself?

Shoulder shrug, "He left us alone".

Mission accomplished.

My Kids Have A New Obsession

2010-07-23T11:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Aunt Bean

2010-07-23T11:09:00.001-05:00

I am going to place that cowbell in a place where only the airport screeners will find.

Lots of love,

Me.

Replay

2010-07-23T10:53:00.003-05:00

Somewhere on this blog I have a post about trying to refill my Rx at the Choctaw clinic last year. So I really shouldn't have been surprised when the time came to refill again and the process went less than smoothly. It went something like this:

Phone call to clinic: My prescription has expired and I need to get it cleared.
Clerk: OK, the next appointment is Sept. 13th.
Me: Well, I know I should have called sooner, but I am needing it cleared before then. (I withdraw badly on this med.)
Clerk: Sorry.
Me: Is there not something that can be done?
Clerk: (sigh) I'll leave a note for Dr. X's nurse.
Me: Thank you.

NEXT DAY

Phone call to clinic: I left a message for Dr. X's nurse yesterday about my Rx.
Clerk: Ok I'll transfer you.
(transfer...ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring...you see where this is going)

NEXT DAY

Phone call to clinic: I need to talk to Dr. X's nurse, please.
Different Clerk: I'm sorry he is on vacation until the first of August.
Me: SERIOUSLY???

I go through the entire explanation again. She transfers me to the Adult Care desk.

Me: (Explanation AGAIN)
Clerk: Well, the only thing you can do since you will have to see a different doctor is come in tomorrow at 8:00 am and try to get seen as a walk-in.
Me: Ok, thank you. (I was SOOO calm it was scary to even me! HA)

8:00 AM NEXT DAY

At check in desk: Go through story again.
Clerk: Ok, I will make you an appointment for 2:00 pm today.
Me: Oookkkk, can I not stay and try to see someone now?
Clerk: Sorry, they are in meetings til noon. Someone should have told you.
Me: (still SURPRISINGLY calm) Ok, thank you.

2:00 PM SAME DAY

Sitting in waiting room after checking in my phone rings. It is the clinic calling to tell me...oh wait...you are already here...I'll come out to get you. Click. Nurse appears: I am so sorry, but they scheduled you for a doctor who isn't even here today. There is nobody here that can see you today but if you come back tomorrow at 8:20 am, we will work you in.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!??!!??!!

What else was there to do? I said Thank You and came back the next morning. Refill cleared. Happy pills for everyone!!

The One Where Our Waitress Teaches My Daughter An Altered Curse Word

2010-07-23T10:46:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I had a doctors appointment. (Getting this appointment is a post in itself, but you'd be proud of me, not one explosive temper tantrum!!) The appointment was early so afterward I promised the kiddos breakfast. After a vote we went to Dennys, where Dillon proceeded to eat enough for three adults. I am not kidding, he ate the All American Slam AND tried to kype his sister's hash browns. But the story here is our waitress, burning her finger, yelling SON OF A (pause) BISQUIT EATER. For some reason this sent Masen into hysterics. She laughed until tears came. Then she took a deep breath and laughed some more. For the rest of the day anytime you said the word "bisquit" she would dissolve into giggles. I guess I can thank the waitress when I am called to school because my daughter says...S.O.B.E.

I'll blame it on Chris.

For My Brother In Law

2010-07-20T15:05:00.001-05:00

If this doesn't get him in trouble....I don't know what will!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

2010-07-20T15:04:00.000-05:00

AAAAHHHHHH

aaaaahhhhhaaaaahhhhaaa

That was my tarzan yell. Want to hear it again?

50 Years

2010-07-20T13:57:00.001-05:00

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad

May 16, 2010

2010-06-12T14:23:00.002-05:00

HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY, Baby Girl. I am pretty sure that you have no idea how FABULOUS you are. You amaze me and I am so glad you are mine. (mmmmwwwwaaaaa this is me giving you a great big smoochy kiss right on your forehead)

I love you.

To My Son

2010-06-12T14:05:00.005-05:00

Son, yesterday you announced you are now a vegetarian, because, you know, it's just not fair to the cows. You proclaimed you can live on Ramen noodles, nachos, and squash, and I have no doubt you can.

But dear little man, I have something I must tell you. I think its important that you know....your family...grandparents, great grandparents, parents....you were born to cattle ranchers. Generations of them.

Just thought you should know...now I'll go slice some squash.

My Straight A Students

2010-06-10T11:11:00.000-05:00

One of three 6th graders with straight A's, and the ONLY 3rd grader!!!!

She's Going to Snap

2010-06-10T11:07:00.002-05:00

Dillon has a new "game". To amuse himself (and OK I do kind of find it funny), he has started trying to scare his sister. I don't mean just once in awhile, I mean several times a day he will hide behind a door, a cabinet, in a closet, and jump out at her. Its gotten to the point where she won't walk into a room without peeking around corners. My days now sound like this:

D: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH
M: (very shrill) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (pause) DILLON!!!!!
D: (mad giggles)
M: YOU BETTER RUN
D: Help, she's killing me......

I am not sure who is going to have the nervous breakdown first, me or her.

Like Father Like Son

2010-06-10T11:05:00.001-05:00

Me: Dillon, you are sooo handsome. Little girls are just going to be following you everywhere.
Dillon: It ain't easy being me.

Little Brother

2010-04-13T07:56:00.002-05:00

This is why she frequently holds him down and tortures him. She is leaning on my shoulder all sweet and loving and he is holding a V8 juice bottle above her head - right before he whacked her with it.

Oops..

2010-04-12T10:42:00.003-05:00

Its been awhile. Not that I didn't have anything to write...I just got lazy. Dance pictures are this week. Dillon has started baseball practice. OYRA rodeos continue and Calvin playdays start the end of this month. Add in softball, opening and ending number practice, and end of school field trips, and my days are going to be full.

If you knew my family...you'd understand...

2010-03-26T09:59:00.003-05:00

Conversation this morning with my sister:

JP: Whatcha doing?
ME: Loading the dishwasher.
JP: So, you're getting Chris drunk?

Ha ha. Isn't she funny. (say that in a flat monotone voice)

Not much really

2010-03-24T13:17:00.002-05:00

I don't have any cute or funny stories to tell today. I wish I did, but I have the stomach flu and being creative or funny just isn't in the cards. But I do want to say this...

Last night my husband came into the living room, we could hear the kids laughing somewhere else in the house, Chris looked at me, smiled and said "I love our life".

Me too.

One year ago today....

2010-03-19T09:46:00.004-05:00

...we were leaving Children's Hospital. Macy was soooo much better but still on blood pressure medicines and diuretics. It would take more than a month for her eyes to look normal again, and following a low sodium diet with a kid is NOT fun.

But we were home.

She got her "all clear" from the doctor last month.

Her kidneys have healed - my heart has not! I still freak every time she gets sick.

Today I will hug her and squeeze her until she pops!

Someone should warn her now...Mama's on the loose and is looking for hugs.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS WONDERFUL BOY!

2010-03-19T09:33:00.004-05:00

He has made me laugh everyday of his life. I love his dimple, his enormous feet, his giggle, and the way he makes my heart melt.

Age: 9 yrs. old

Favorite show: Star Wars Clone Wars

Favorite toy: Anything Star Wars

Nickname: Puppy, and lots of love-names I call him which embarass the snot out of him!

I can wear his shoes!! He can drive a 3/4 ton pulling a gooseneck full of steers through a small gate and not hit a thing. He loves to aggravate his sister. He tends to get stuck in trees! He makes straight A's at school.

I love this kid!!!!!

March 13, 2010

2010-03-15T17:58:00.000-05:00

Saturday, March 13, 2010. This is the day I turned 40 years old.

The 20 yr old inside of me is still wondering what the heck happened.

Lessons

2010-03-09T08:48:00.003-06:00

This sums it up

2010-03-01T10:03:00.005-06:00

This pretty much sums up this winter. This is a view from my front door. It's been cold, it's been wet, and it's been COLD!

Spring, please.

Rat Update

2010-03-01T10:03:00.001-06:00

Haven't seen hide nor, well, hide of the little sucker. What do you think that means?

Not the spa treatment anyone wants

2010-02-26T11:53:00.003-06:00

I hate mice. Mice are nasty, vile, gross, and fast.

We have lived in this house for almost 10 years and I can honestly say that I've seen only a couple of mice since we moved in. This is my justification for having so many cats. (They are all outside/barn cats, its not like I'm the crazy cat lady or anything) BUT a day or two ago I am lying on my bed and out of the corner of my eye I see something move. AAAAAHHHHHHH!! NOOOOOO! I guess it should be expected since this winter has been so cold. However, that rationalization did not stop me from NOT feeding my cats the next day. OBVIOUSLY they need to be doing some hunting.

The next day Chris comes home with a rat arsenal. (All mice are rats to me, even if they aren't) Sticky strips go down, poison goes out. Now you have to understand that until this rat is caught, I cannot peacefully stand close to any cabinet, open any door, or pick up any laundry that has fallen on the floor. I am obsessively sweeping and cleaning. I hate mice.

I got up on day two and checked all my sticky pads. And there, on the one behind the bathrooom door was the grey mass. Nope, not the mouse, but lots of fur. The little sucker had gotten stuck and managed to get away, leaving his rat colored evidence behind. I call Chris at work to give him an "update".

I said: "Dude, you've got a rat with a brazilian living in your closet."

(I hope ratzilla is traumatized. I know I am)

Random

2010-02-19T09:29:00.002-06:00

Things I never thought I'd hear myself say:

WHERE did you put that booger?

Is that a Clone Trooper on the ceiling fan?

No you can't have Santa's phone number, I don't care if you "need to explain".

OH MY WORD, you haven't changed your underwear in HOW LONG????

- and my personal favorite -

Stop biting the dog!

Teaching her the classics.

2010-02-19T09:25:00.002-06:00

Sis and I were driving to town the other day and I was listening to Bon Jovi. I had it turned up and was singing along, you know like all good Mom's who aren't AT ALL embarrassing to their pre-teens! HA! From the backseat I hear her, muttering under her breath, "well, someone is missing the '80's".

So, I turned the cd up a little louder and schooled her on the "totally awesome"-ness of Jon Bon Jovi.

Any more comments out of her and I'll buy her a pair of parachute pants and rat comb her bangs!

All the world is his stage

2010-02-11T10:51:00.005-06:00

The shower in our master bath is pretty big. OK, it's not lavish, but I'm alright with it. There are two small "steps" or "seats", one on each end, which are perfect for propping up a leg to shave, or to just sit down on and soak. Dillon, however, found a new use for them.

A few nights ago he was in our shower and over the noise of two t.v.'s and at least one closed door, we could hear him. So, Chris gets up to go check in on him and finds my son with one leg on each step (I do not know and don't want to know how he did this), water on full blast, playing air guitar and doing a fantastic impression of Steven Tyler of Aerosmith screeching *WALK THIS WAY, TALK THIS WAAAYYY.

Chris slid the door open and my junior rock star hops down gives his dad a thumbs up and finishes washing his hair.

Man-brain.

*Oh and I want to add that he only knows the CLEAN version of this song, so don't be sending me any "bad mommy"comments.

SER-I-OUS-LY

2010-02-11T10:37:00.003-06:00

I'm sick. For the last two nights I have been sleeping on the couch so that I can prop my head up in hopes that at least some of this "mucous" will drain away. I am congested, snot-filled, sore throated, crusty-eyed SICK.

This morning my alarm went off at 6:15 (ugh, do the kids REALLY need to EAT before school??) and I rolled off the couch and pinballed off the walls until I managed to reach my bedroom door, eyes half-closed and hacking like a 200 yr old smoker. Chris is sitting on the edge of our bed watching the news. He takes one look at me stumbling into the room and says:

WAIT!! STOP!

I froze. (I should have known better, but hey, I was not fully awake AND right now I have more snot than gray matter in my brain)

Me: What?

CF: New rule. You can no longer enter this room unless you are topless.

Me: (Unfroze I fell face forward onto my bed) You know...you are SO MUCH FUNNIER when I am not drowning in SNOT.

CF: (Grinning like he wasn't about to get smacked) Well, you know...I have a "cure" for....

That is as far as he got.

Oh don't worry...I only broke two of his fingers.

It's a miracle we make it out of the door each day...oh wait...

2010-02-08T09:48:00.002-06:00

When Chris and I had been married about three years, he accidentally locked me out of the house. It's a long story that includes him leaving to work cattle, me wearing nothing but the tank top and shorts I'd slept in, walking to the neighbors house barefoot, and eventually breaking into my own home.

Well, yesterday he managed to accidentally lock me IN the house. We were heading out to worship, he was taking the kids to Sunday school and I was coming later to worship service. Before he left, he decided to be "sweet" and wash his nasty feeding clothes. He and the kids left and I started to get ready when I heard the washing machine BANG BANG WHUP WHUP WHUP. (The concept of balancing the clothes in the washer is lost on my loving husband) I got up and headed to the laundry room only to find that the washer had "walked" its way in front of the door blocking any entry or exit to that room. Now, my laundry room is the gateway to my garage, where my car was, with the garage door opener IN the car. The result: I had no way to get to my car or into my garage.

At least I had access to my clothes this time..

Really??

2010-02-08T09:39:00.003-06:00

Last week I woke up with a sore throat and feeling like crap, so I decided that after I dropped the kids at school, I'd head to the walk-in clinic. I made my co-pay and headed to the kiosks to update all my info. While I was there answering questions, the clerk said she needed to see a picture ID, then went on to comment that with all the new regulations and procedures pretty soon you'd need security clearance to see a doctor. (Obviously she is not thrilled with her new S.O.P) Her next comment was something like this:

"You know, it's silly, most people don't even look like their drivers license picture, so what's the point. Except you, now you look exactly like your picture!"

She then stopped and smiled up at me. I smiled back until I realized I was standing before her sick, dark circles under my eyes, not one single drop of make-up whatsoever, and had barely finger combed my hair that morning.

Apparently I need to re-take my D.L. photo.

He has a point...

2010-02-08T09:37:00.001-06:00

Last night:

Dillon: Hey, Dad, I've got a new cologne guaranteed to attract girls.
CF: Oh yeah, well, what does it smell like?
Dillon: Wal-Mart

I think I am in trouble with this one!

Man Brain Part II

2010-01-23T19:25:00.002-06:00

Tonight I am in the kitchen cooking dinner when my son and my husband make their way into the dining room. Dillon climbs up and sits on the dinner table while my husband sits down in a chair and scoots up to the table. So, I ask "What are you doing??" The reply: "Cutting Dillon's toe-nails."

ON MY TABLE. CUTTING THE 8 YEAR OLDS TOE-NAILS ON THE TABLE.

And they didn't understand why I was opposed to the idea. "What? What's wrong with it? Where else should I do it?" How about ANYWHERE else??!!

Man Brain.

He's really a 100 year old man

2010-01-19T16:21:00.003-06:00

Conversation with Dillon:

D: Mom, I think college will be the best time of my life.
Me: Why is that?
D: NO HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!
Me: Son, I hate to have to tell you this, but...
D: AW CRAP!!!!! Mom, I can't wait until I can retire.

Are you KIDDING me?

2010-01-05T20:07:00.000-06:00

Today I found a gray hair - IN MY NOSE!

Snooowwww

2009-12-26T19:50:00.002-06:00

Its a white Christmas in Oklahoma! Dillon came to the back door yesterday, covered, head to toe. His sister was laughing hysterically. It seems Dillon misjudged a pretty deep snowdrift and attempted to sled down it. He sank. I'm not sure what it took for him to get out, but he had snow in places that, well, snow shouldn't be. His sister is still laughing.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T19:48:00.001-06:00

and a Happy Ho Ho.

Dear Aunt Bean, yes your 11 yr old niece is now as tall as you.

Thankful

2009-12-23T10:50:00.004-06:00

I was awake at midnight last night with this post running through my head, so here goes...

I can't get the memories of Childrens Hospital out of my head. Maybe because Masen has been sick lately, maybe because it is Christmas, I don't know. If I close my eyes I have very vivid images of her room on the 8th floor, last room on the southeast side, next to the playroom, tiny, one little sleeping chair. Across from us was a baby, just a few months old, who came in with a brain injury and a horrible bruise across the left side of her head and ear. A child at her babysitters had beat her with one of those wooden hammers that come with peg sets, allegedly.

Just a few doors down from us was another baby girl. I have no idea her age, but she was able to fit into an infant carseat. I know this because that is where she stayed most of the day. She had no visitors, no family to hold her or love her, so the nurses placed her in a car seat and moved her crib in front of the door so they could see her from their station. When they had a break, they'd take turns rocking her, feeding her, and just loving her. I don't know what her story was, it was apparent she was not a "normal" healthy child. She didn't cry, or fuss or interact like most infants do. She had no family to take her home.

And I can see the little girl, about 8 years old whose brother had spent most of his life in the hospital. She herself was a healthy child, but had spent so much time at Children's that every nurse, every aide and assistant knew her name. She knew what time crafts were done in the play room and when the therapy dogs came, she knew all their names and what tricks they could do.

I see the grandmother pushing her grandson in his stroller, nobody knew how long he would live. I see the teenager watching the therapy dogs with his head down, the IV pole attached to his wheelchair and a cap on his bald head. I see big strong men brought to their knees watching their babies struggle to breath.

I see the nurses. I wonder if they know their impact on these families. I know the ones that had to put up with cranky Mom, ME, were fantastic. I was not exactly charming by the time we hit OKC. They treated my daughter with love and jokes and tenderness. They are amazing and all I know for certain is that God gave them something special when He made their hearts. To do and see what they do, day in and day out, and still have the capacity to smile and have hope is beyond words and must be of God.

So, today, the eve of Christmas Eve, I pray for them, and the families there. I promised I'd never close my eyes at night without asking God to fill those halls with His mercy and comfort. And I'll keep that promise along with my gratitude that our story had a happy ending. Today if you have a healthy child who has a messy room, and talks back sometimes, just give thanks to God that your worries only include how long to ground them.

He suffers from ManBrain

2009-11-30T08:50:00.003-06:00

Last night: Dillon is doing whatever it is he does, Masen is in the shower and Chris is sprawled out across our bed flipping channels on the t.v. talking to me while I iron his work clothes for the week. The phone rings. Nobody moves. (ring again) Finally Chris rolls over and says, "You want me to get that?" (ya think?) But I was nice, I answered, "Please." (ring) Instead of just getting up and answering the phone, (ring) he replies, "Well, who is it?"

That big bandage across his forehead, is NOT I repeat NOT caused by me chunking the can of spray starch at him. Nope, not at all.

She's just soooo helpful

2009-11-28T19:08:00.002-06:00

Dillon has decided that every tree he sees is a challenge. Unfortunately, he is much better at climbing up into the trees than he is at climbing down. He tends to get stuck. His solution is to hang in the tree and yell MAMAAAAAAAA until I come help him down. This afternoon all four of us were outside when we heard MAMAAAAAAA. Dillon was stuck in the big pine tree behind our house. His big sister let out a deep sigh, much like she was asked to donate both big toes to research, and said, "I'll go shove him out."

Isn't she kind to want to "help" her brother that way?! Maybe sadistic is a better word.

Senor Smoothie Buns

2009-11-25T11:05:00.001-06:00

Dillon comes through the house the other day, rubs his butt and proclaims himself...SENOR
SMOOTHIE BUNS.

(did i spell that right??)

A New Routine

2009-11-09T13:41:00.002-06:00

Well, it's done. I am no longer working. I am beginning my time as a SAHM. I did it for awhile when Sis was a baby, but this is different. And, well, I have to tell you that I absolutely L O V E every second of it. So many people told me how much I'd hate it, so many people thought it meant something was wrong. But the truth is, so many things are right. Chris and I decided to do this for our family and for the kiddos. I've already been on a school field trip, the Halloween parade, and more ball games than I can count. The house is clean (well, clean-er anyway), the laundry is done, dinner is home cooked more than rushed, and I can't wait for the holidays and summer break. We are focusing on our family. What can be more right?

Boys

2009-10-17T14:35:00.002-05:00

While Dad and Dillon were staking out their "deer stand" the other day, they came across one of the many natural gas wells that have popped up around here. They checked out the pump house and Dillon asked what it was for. Dad told him it was what put out the natural gas. Dillon replied, "Oh yeah, give my daddy beans and he'll kick this things butt."

No comment.

I don't know where her attitude comes from.....

2009-10-04T20:44:00.003-05:00

Decals my daughter wanted at the fair:

1. BITE ME CITY GIRL

2. Don't touch me - -it pisses me off. (ok, I like this one)

3. Barrel Racer

4. I'd rather be at the stall than at the mall.

5. Three barrels, Two hearts, One dream

6. Beat Texas and the steer they rode in on.

We aren't entirely certain she is just 11 years old. What we are sure of, she is one neat kid.

His New Nickname is Plus Five

2009-09-28T11:00:00.001-05:00

My husband, my wonderful, sweet husband. He’s crazy you know. If you want proof, just watch him at one of our kid’s sporting events. During baseball, he found himself crawling across the ground screaming RUN-RUN when Dillon hit a home run, at playdays he does the left-foot-right-foot-left-foot weave hop when Sis is running poles. I’ve actually had other children’s parents tell me that he is more fun to watch than the games. He’s passionate about his kids.

HOWEVER.

This took place Saturday night: He and Sis had gone to a rodeo. He roped his calf and then got onto the business of getting her ready for her barrel run. He always walks into the alley way and stands at the edge of the arena where he can help her into/out of the arena if needed. This is where he stands and does the requisite crazed barrel-racer parent KICK KICK SIT DOWN PULL KICK KICK scream until the run is over. (If any of you said parents are out there, he used to make fun of you until he had a daughter who wanted to barrel race and now he is undeniably one of you) According to her dad, Sis was making a fantastic run until she clipped the third barrel with her knee. The barrel balanced, teetering on its edge for a second or so before falling over causing an audible ohhhhhh from the audience. What the audience didn’t see, or we HOPE they didn’t, was her Dad leaning with the barrel, using his body to will it to stand up, leaning, praying the force of his hope and will would upright it. Then it fell. And so did he. My husband, my very masculine, macho, muscular, rub a little dirt on it you aren’t hurt, husband found himself on his hands and knees in arena dirt, and according to him, not even realizing he had fallen until he was elbow deep.

This man loves his children and this is only one of the reasons I love this man.

Oh and if any of you were there Saturday night and just happen to have this on video, I’ve got some $$ with your name on it, because that is just stinkin’ FUNNY and I promise to use the video to black mail him for the rest of his life. You know, because I love him so much.

Eat my dust and head for 3rd.

2009-09-25T10:04:00.003-05:00

Hmmm

2009-09-25T10:01:00.003-05:00

Doesn't it kind of look like Chris is saying STOP. Don't pull that! Probably was considering that Dillon is grinning.

Still pressing his luck

2009-09-25T09:49:00.002-05:00

Last saturday Masen had her first OYRA rodeo. She was nervous and didn't have a good pole run. (Barrels looked great) Afterward we stopped and ate at one of my husband's favorite restaurants and Sis was in a less than great mood. Finally I'd had enough and pointed out to her that the rest of us had done nothing but support her and she could stop biting our heads off. Her brother took this opportunity to chime in: "Yeah, Miss Moodswing!!"

Again, we'll miss him.

My first baby.

2009-09-25T09:44:00.003-05:00

She's growing up. Eleven years old and beautiful. She'll never know how proud I am of her, even though I try to tell her. She is her own unique person and at eleven knows more about who she is than I did at thirty. I thank God daily for allowing me to borrow her. Little Miss Mess, your Mom loves you.

We're going to miss him....

2009-09-11T09:41:00.002-05:00

Last night my son walks through the dining room and for no reason other than to tick her off, says: Sissy's butt...its the BIG Island.